August 18, 2010...two years...a little justice...a little peace

I know that I should have posted this sooner...but this past week has been one of the hardest weeks I have had since we lost Amit two years ago. The recent probation violations and my need to take a stand brought me to a point where I had to revisit so very much of what I had been trying to move past.

Now, my hope is that we can all begin to heal again...continue the process to come to terms with the memories we must carry with us.

On Wednesday, August 18, Troy Lee Hovey was sentenced to 6 years and 8 months in prison. Troy must serve 80% of this sentence and must serve an additional three years of probation upon his release.

The following is the link to the Chico E-R article on the sentencing and the comment forum for the article.

http://www.chicoer.com/ci_15825100?source=rss_viewed

The judge almost gave Troy Hovey the harsher full sentence. It was only that he has no extensive prior criminal record that she chose to give him the "mid term."

The judge also shared that she had received numerous letters (for both sides) that generated a folder almost 4-5 inches thick. She read all of them at least once and some, more. She noted that in discussions prior to the sentencing that she and Mr. Hovey had had a discussion regarding the difference between a mistake and deceit and that Mr. Hovey had admitted that what he had done qualified as deceit.

Troy Hovey made his choices...he has admitted to his crimes...and now he must suffer the consequences of those choices. He has punished everyone...Deepika, Amit's family, Amit's friends, me, and his own family and friends by virtue of the choices he has made. In the end...we have a little justice, maybe a little more peace...we have the opportunity to heal...but Amit is still gone from our lives and nothing changes that reality. I cannot say that I am happy...I can just say that I will heal...as will so many others.

For those that are interested, I will be printing excerpts of my statements on my other blog, Taking Action/Making a diffference...please feel free to visit the blog if you would like.

I will continue to post on both blogs...I will continue to try and make a difference, not only for Deepika, Amit, and Jevesh, but for so many others that must suffer the pain and heartache of such preventable and terrible tragedies.

Please...never drink and drive and never let anyone else drink and drive...Take a stand and do something...please...

Troy Hovey may have violated his Probation...

I first want to apologize...I normally do not post these particular blog entries here...but I felt it was imperative that I get the word out...

(Revised 07/08/2010)

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Here are links that mention the case:
http://www.buttecourt.ca.gov/online_index/CMSCaseDisplay.cfm?URLCaseNumber=CM029163

(This is a listing of the items filed in court on Hovey regarding this case)

http://www.chicoer.com/news/ci_15417428

(Chico E-R news article regarding the probation violation)

www.topix.com/forum/state/ca/TN401PD2SHM78V2IA

(This is a forum discussion that someone started....)

www.paradisepost.com/opinion/ci_15378819
(This is an opinion letter to the paradise post...)

I would really love to overflow that courtroom with people....overwhelm their mailroom and email inboxes with letters asking for justice....Please...I am begging you....help us achieve justice this time if we are given that opportunity...

I would like to share some thoughts with you and I apologize if I offend anyone for that is never my intention, but I do realize that my strong feelings may not be shared by everyone who reads this blog...

Something to ponder...

I would like to point out that Hovey may not be a murderer...but he is, without question...a killer...he took a human life...plain and simple...He may not have specifically chosen Amit Tandon as his victim...but Troy Hovey was and is no child...

Hovey drank to excess...knowing he had issues with alcohol...He Chose...to drink (elevating his BAC to Three Times the Legal Limit)...He Chose...to not call his wife or a taxi or Someone to get a safe ride home...He Chose... to get behind the wheel of a multi-ton vehicle turned death machine...He Chose... to drive at excessive speeds (between 60-90 mph by law enforcement estimates)...He Chose ...to talk on a cell phone while driving (at excessive speeds, intoxicated)...

All of these Choices Ultimately lead to Hovey driving Through a barrier and driving the wrong way on 99...Hovey drove through that barricade...The vehicle in front of Amit saw what was coming and was able to avoid Hovey...Unfortunately...Amit did not have that chance...

Hovey collided with the little Nissan truck that Amit was driving home...Home to his wife of only 7 months...a wife that was pregnant with his child whom he had found out only two days prior was to be a boy...a Child I would point out, Amit never had the chance to see, to hold, to love...

And despite all of that...Judge Glusman handed down a sentence that, to all but the most blind, was sickening and a mockery of the justice system. There have been people who have stolen walnuts from the orchards that received a harsher punishment than Hovey ...a man who took, nay stole, a human life...

What happened on August 6th of 2008 was a collision resulting from One person's Series of Selfish, Bad choices...That crash was not an accident (an accident implies no one is at fault)...It is no different than waving a gun around and having it go off...one knows that a gun can be dangerous and that waving it around is extremely dangerous...and if you choose to wave that gun around...you know there is a risk that someone will get hurt or die...Hovey made choices...and those choices resulted in the death of a 32 year old husband, son, brother, friend, and father...

Amit Tandon...Never had a Choice...

Thousands die each year...senselessly...at the hands of drunk drivers...more deaths, in fact, than all the soldiers that have died in Iraq or Afghanistan. The difference? Soldiers choose to be soldiers...These victims...Never had a Choice...

Right or Wrong, Troy Hovey was given an opportunity by Glusman to channel his remorse to "embrace recovery"...and yet....In the two years since Amit has died...has Hovey shown or demonstrated remorse? Has he "Embraced" recovery? Has Hovey done anything of his own volition (that is, has he done anything on his own, of his own free will) to show his remorse or to address his alcohol addiction? or has he only done what the court has required him to do?...I don't know, but I don't feel like he has...Example?...At the end of May/beginning of June, Troy Hovey, via facebook, inquired, on a motorsport vehicle business page, as to the availability and cost of a recreational vehicle. I ask you...Would a man filled with remorse over the taking of a life be 1) playing on facebook and 2) inquiring as to the availability of a luxury item purchase with a price tag approaching $9000? Meanwhile, the widow of his victim, Deepika Tandon, works every single day to make ends meet and provide for her child...I am sorry, but that does not sound like an act of a remorseful person.

What I also know is that Hovey is facing charges of having violated his probation, of falsifying AA logs...Would a remorseful person violate probation? Would a remorseful person falsify AA logs? Would someone who has "embraced" recovery falsify AA logs? And if he is guilty of falsifying the AA logs, then a potentially even more serious question may be, what else could he be guilty of?

I do not desire vengeance...vengeance is an act of violence, of hate, ...an act of inflicting harm or the like on another as a means of revenge, I do not choose to foster hate...there is nothing in this world that will bring Amit back to Deepika and those that cared for him...no matter how hard we might wish and hate accomplishes nothing...What I would like...and what I would ask each and every person to consider, is the need for justice... A man has violated the law and he must be held accountable for his actions. If he is not remorseful of his prior or "alleged" recent crimes and he has not embraced recovery, he has the potential to repeat his past sins...and in so doing, puts each and every one of us and our loved ones at risk. Perhaps Troy Hovey Needs to go to prison... not only to be held accountable for his actions and misdeeds, but to gain perspective on what he has done and to be given the opportunity in a more secure and supervised setting, to attempt recovery. There are no guarantees as to whether or not Hovey will ever have remorse or will ever seriously address his addictions, however, I do believe that keeping him off the streets for as long as possible could save lives.

We must ALL take a stand...We must ALL let our voices be heard....Write letters, emails, make phone calls, share the stories, vote, do whatever you can to take a stand...to make a difference. As I have said many a time...In August of 2008, Amit was the one who fell victim, leaving behind his wife, sick child, family, and friends....all of us, losing a little piece of our hearts...tonight, tomorrow, next month, next year, the victim could be someone you care about...

June 6th, 2009...10 months...Remembering Amit

On this, the sixth of June, Deepika, Amit's family and friends, and the community of Chico remember the loss of a beautiful man, Amit Tandon. His heart was enormous; his generosity, overflowing; his smile, from ear to ear; his talent, unending; and his loss, felt by people the world over, deep, raw, angry, sad, heartwrenching....there are not enough words to describe such a tragedy, such a loss.

I look at Deepika and I am filled with love, deep respect, and a bit of heartache. Such a wonderful person with such a good heart that has endured such heartache and tragedy and yet she continues on with great strength, hope, and faith.

I see Jevesh and think of all the terrible things that child has had to endure in such a short time and I hope and pray that he beats all the odds to grow up to be a bright, strong, healthy individual with all the wonderful qualities of his mother and father. When I look at that child I see his parents and I have hope and warmth in my heart (and admittedly tears in my eyes occasionaly).

Please continue to offer your kind words, prayers, and thoughts as the struggles continue. Please remind those around you to never drink and drive and never let anyone around them drink and drive. No one should have to suffer such tragedy and heartache, we must all try to make a difference.

Here are a few recent pics of Jevesh (I will post more on the 9th...his 6 MONTH Birthday!).

February 6, 2009...For Amit

As I write this blog, on this, the 6th of February, 2009...I sit and ponder the last 6 months...and how drastically so many lives have been changed...forever...6 months ago, we lost Amit, beloved husband, brother, uncle, father (to-be), friend...the heart aches at it all...an unending ache that will never quite be filled...

I look at lovely Deepika and beautiful Jevesh...two wonderful souls that have had to endure so very much...sometimes it feels like too much...but their strength, bravery, and endurance are lessons to us all...and I am a better person for knowing all of them and having them in my life.

Today, on my other blog, I discuss Amit and the tragedy that befell him and the travesty of justice that followed. Here, I would like to remember the good, the better, the best, of a man I considered a friend (and in his own way, passive teacher, offering saged wisdom despite his youth)...Deepika's best friend, her love, her husband, her life...And I welcome any and all who would like to add to this list...a rememberance of a dear and wonderful man...We are all better for having known him, if even for a brief moment in time...


* He was a good person

* His smile

* He was always so laid back - hardly anything ever bothered him and even if it did, it was not for long

* His saag (spinach dish) - delicious

* He was nice

* He was intelligent and had such passion and drive

* He wanted to try to always make someone else's day better and not sweat the stuff that really doesn't matter - people matter, material items can be replaced...

* His laugh

* He touched many people, from Chico, to Sacramento, Nevada, Texas, India, the world

* Tandoori style Pomfrey fish - honestly one of the best meals I have ever had, really

* We are all better for having known him

* He liked Okra (Bindi or ladyfingers)

* He was charismatic

* Singing to his Hindi music

* He had a magnetic personality

* His incredible energy and spirit

* His love of hot food - he could eat peppers straight up - he wanted to have his meals make you sweat

* He loved Deepika so very much…his life was perfect…he had a wife he loved, a child on the way, and his business was doing well…

* He is missed by many

* He is loved by more

This video includes pictures of Amit, Deepika, and Jevesh...may it warm your heart and touch your soul...Please don't drink and drive and don't let anyone else either...

Strength, Love, and Hope

This blog is the ongoing story of

The Tandon Family of Chico...

Amit and Deepika Tandon married on December 28 of 2007. They were best friends and loved each other deeply. Ask anyone who had the pleasure of meeting them...She loved him so much and he loved her absolutely...They laughed and smiled, the kindness they showed each other and everyone they met warmed the heart. Amit was magnetic and charismatic, Deepika, kind and warm. Amit and Deepika came to know they would be parents in the spring of 2008...If only one could have taken a snapshot in that one moment...I can only imagine that Amit must have been just about ready to burst...For the next months, Amit cared for Deepika...protecting her, taking care of her, preparing for their life as parents.

On August 6th, 2008 tragedy struck when the life of Amit Tandon was stolen by Drunk Driver Troy Hovey of Chico. Deepika was five months pregnant...they had only just found out two days prior that they were having a boy. Deepika was heartbroken...there are no words to describe the emotions...to feel your heart torn from your body...to know your love will never walk through the door again, that she will never feel his embrace...the struggle to come to terms with such tragedy and heartbreak. Deepika grieved and still does...Chico grieves with her.

Tragedy continued when Troy Hovey's actions went unpunished. Judge Glusman sentenced Hovey to only 180 days in jail (of which he served less than half, being let out early to go to alcohol rehab) three years probation, and only losing his driver's license for one year. I will not talk more of Hovey and such terrible things...To read more about these actions, please see the blog "Taking Action"...I have included the majority of the statement that Deepika had read in court, news contacts and links, and additional information and facts that people have shared on comment pages.

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In this blog I will keep everyone updated as to the health of Deepika and her baby boy. She has named him Jevesh, meaning Courageous.

Jevesh was born a week early, on 12/09/08 at 0200 ...he weighed 7lbs and was 20 inches long...less than 24 hours later, Jevesh was losing oxygen. Instead of 80-90% oxygen saturation in his blood, he was at 40%. Thanks to Deepika, she had him evaluated and the doctors put Jevesh on oxygen. The doctor's at Enloe proceeded with an echocardiogram (a picture of the heart). The results showed a defect of the heart. Doctor's at Stanford were contacted and Jevesh was life-flighted to the Lucile Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford. A friend drove Deepika down to the hospital...Deepika is staying at the hospital (they have sleeping arrangements for parents) and is on a waiting list to get in to the Ronald McDonald House.

Here is one of the first pics of Deepika and Amit's Beautiful Jevesh (my heart breaks for this family)...