August 6th 2008 - August 6th 2009

As I sit here waiting for the words to enter my brain for today's blog...one of the hardest I will ever have to write, I am overwhelmed with emotion...Saddness, grief, anger, none of which Amit would want me or any of us to feel and yet I cannot help it...To have lost a friend, for Deepika to have lost the love of her life, for Jevesh to lose his father, for Amit's family to suffer this loss, for our community to endure this tragedy...and not have some of these emotions...I wish I was a better person, alas, I am human.

Amit did not die from cancer, a bad diet, a fluke medical condition...Amit died because one man made a choice, a selfish choice, a choice that was NO accident...A man CHOSE to drink and drive, chose not to get a safe ride home, chose to talk on a cell phone while driving, chose to drive at excessive speed, chose to drive while over three times the legal limit, chose to drive the wrong way on the road...Drunk Driving is NEVER an accident...it is a choice...and as far as I am concerned, it is Murder. The fact that there are people who have committed quote unquote "victimless crimes" and been punished more severly than a man who made not one, but a seried of horrifically bad choices, is not just tragic, it is sickening and despicable. The man who murdered Amit was likely home with his children long before Jevesh ever came home to a house without his father!

When we lost Amit, our hearts absolutely broke...I do not only mean that metaphorically, I mean our hearts hurt...we felt the physical ache of a heart that was irreparably broken...our hearts hurt! Our souls Ached! Our minds screamed out in absolute agony...Praying every moment of every day that this whole tragedy was some terrible nightmare, that it wasn't real, that at any moment, Amit would come walking through that door to greet Deepika with a huge smile on his face, greeting her with a "helloo honey!" and a kiss...but he hasn't, he won't, he Never will...

I encourage each and every one of you to stand up and make the choice to have your voice heard, to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH! How many more loved ones have to die? How many more families and friends must live with how such a tragedy devastates their lives? WHEN do we as a community decide what is most important?

On August 6th, 2008, Amit fell victim to a preventable tragedy...every year THOUSANDS more join that group of victims, and TOO MANY times...Too Many Times! the perpetrators of these crimes are barely punished, if at all, while Deepika, other wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, and so on, are sentenced to life, life without parole, life without their loved ones, life filled with coping with that loss, that pain, that heartache, a life sentence without their loved ones by their side, a life without their friend, husband, father. On August 6th, 2008, it was Amit who fell victim...tomorrow, next month, next year, maybe even tonight, you or one of your loved ones could be next. DON'T WAIT to take action because you find yourself having one more personal reason to care about this matter... Do something NOW, please do not wait for someone else you care about to fall victim to another person's selfish choice.

One year....in one year we have experienced such pain, such sorrow, such utter and complete heartbreak....There are no words that can ever truly express the loss that such a tragedy brings to so many. Today, we want to celebrate the wonderful life of an amazing man who touched so many lives. To some he was the "Indian food guy," to others he was that smiling man who just made their day with a kind word and a smile and just by being nice, to others he was a friend, a brother, a cousin, an uncle, and to Deepika, he was her loving husband and best friend...and he would have been an adoring father to Jevesh...

We have been blessed to have had what little time we could with Amit and we pray that we will be blessed with a long life with Jevesh. Their souls bring joy to our hearts and we are better for having them in our lives. I know that I am surely a better person for having had the opportunity to call Amit my friend, and it is an honor, privilege, and blessing to have Deepika and Jevesh in my life. My heart both aches and is filled with joy and I hope you will join me in celebrating the lives of these wonderful people.

We will have a small memorial table set up at the Saturday Chico Farmer's Market. We will have a memory book where people can share their memories of Amit, well wishes for Deepika and Jevesh, or share pleasant thoughts and blessings. Please pass the word around.

Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts, prayers, and friendship to Deepika and Jevesh...you may never know how much it has meant to them.

August 5th, 2009

May Our Friendship Last Forever

May our friendship last forever;
May I sail upon your sea.
May we go through life together;
May there always be a "we."
May I be your endless sky;
May you breathe my gentle air.
May younever wonder why
Each time you look for me, I'm there.

May we be for each a smile
Like the warm, life-giving sun;
Yet when we're in pain awhile,
May our suffering be one.

May we share our special days,
The happiness of one for two;
And if we must go separate ways,
Let my love remain with you.

-Nicholas Gordon

August 4th, 2009

For Deepika, For Deepika's Mom, For Amit's mother....

Everybody knows that a good mother gives her child a feeling of trust and stability. She is their earth. She is the one they can count on for the things that matter most of all. She is their food and their bed and the extra blanket when it grows cold in the night; she is their warmth and their health and their shelter; she is the one they want to be near when they cry. She is the only person in the whole world in a whole lifetime who can be these things to her children. There is no substitute for her. Somehow even her clothes feel different to her children's hands from anybody else's clothes. Only to touch her skirt or her sleeve makes a troubled child feel better.

-Katherine Butler Hathaway

August 3, 2009

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

you tell me of our future that you planned;

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for awhile

And afterwards remember, do not grieve;

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.

-Christina Rossetti

August 2, 2009

...friends are quiet angels who sit on our shoulders and lift our wings when we forget how to fly... -Unknown




Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same... -Flavia Weedn




Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom... -Marcel Proust

Some friends come and go like a season...Others are arranged in our life for a reason... -Sharita Gadison

I believe in angels, the kind heaven sends. I am surrounded by angels, but I call them my best friends... -Unknown

If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand... -Unknown

August 1, 2009...A week of pics

To celebrate Jevesh's 8 month birthday and remember and celebrate the life of Amit, taken from us a year ago, I will post photos every day from today through next Sunday. Please take a moment to pass on well wishes, share your memories, and pass the word to others for them to do the same, here on the blog.

We love you Deepika, We love you Jevesh, We miss you Amit.

July 9, 2009...no posting but not forgotten...

My apologies for not being able to post anything to celebrate Jevesh's 7 month birthday...I have been stuck out of town on work of late and was unable to do my monthly posting.

A quick update...Jevesh is doing well and so is mommy...There are always good days and less than good days, but there have certainly been more of the better days of late.

As most of you know, we are quickly approaching an anniversary not to be celebrated...Next week will mark one year since we lost a wonderful man, friend, brother, uncle, husband, ...and he would have been the most loving wonderful father...I pray he is looking down on Jevesh as his guardian angel.

I am helping Deepika work on a rememberance for next week. We would like to do a celebration of life...remembering all the good memories we have of Amit and celebrating Jevesh's 8 month birthday...I will post more details as the plans are made.

I will also be posting a video of some of the most recent pics and video I had a chance to snap/shoot while briefly making it back to Chico.

In the meantime, please, as always, keep Deepika, Jevesh, and Amit in your thoughts and prayers.

June 21, 2009...Happy Father's Day

Even though Amit is no longer physically with us, he is always in our hearts. Amit never had the chance to hold his beautiful angel in his arms, but from the moment he knew he was going to be a father, his heart must have swelled with pride and love, he was a father. He loved that child from the very first moment he existed. To be a father, a parent, is to begin your life anew, living not only for yourself, but for your child (or children). The struggles, the difficulties, are all worth it for the chance to love and shape a life and see them look back at you with love and joy in their hearts.

I want to take this moment to celebrate Father's Day for not only my own father, my uncles, my brother, and other father figures and all those other fathers everywhere, but for Deepika's father and Amit's father...and especially for Amit. We may not always remember the words of our fathers, but we do remember how they made us feel and how we feel about them and I am thankful for everyone in my life, those that are still here, and those that have moved on.

Amit is looking down on his darling child and smiling...Jevesh's personal guardian angel.

Take a moment today to love the ones you are with because you do not know what tomorrow has in store.

June 9, 2009...Happy 6 Month Birthday Jevesh!

I wanted to again take a moment to mark the birthday of Jevesh. Happy 6 months little angel...may your days be filled with increasing strength, good health, blessings, and love...You, Deepika, and your dad are always in my thoughts and prayers.

To celebrate Jevesh's birthday, I have a special treat :) I have a few videos I am going to post. Please forgive any background noise, including my bad singing ;)

June 6th, 2009...10 months...Remembering Amit

On this, the sixth of June, Deepika, Amit's family and friends, and the community of Chico remember the loss of a beautiful man, Amit Tandon. His heart was enormous; his generosity, overflowing; his smile, from ear to ear; his talent, unending; and his loss, felt by people the world over, deep, raw, angry, sad, heartwrenching....there are not enough words to describe such a tragedy, such a loss.

I look at Deepika and I am filled with love, deep respect, and a bit of heartache. Such a wonderful person with such a good heart that has endured such heartache and tragedy and yet she continues on with great strength, hope, and faith.

I see Jevesh and think of all the terrible things that child has had to endure in such a short time and I hope and pray that he beats all the odds to grow up to be a bright, strong, healthy individual with all the wonderful qualities of his mother and father. When I look at that child I see his parents and I have hope and warmth in my heart (and admittedly tears in my eyes occasionaly).

Please continue to offer your kind words, prayers, and thoughts as the struggles continue. Please remind those around you to never drink and drive and never let anyone around them drink and drive. No one should have to suffer such tragedy and heartache, we must all try to make a difference.

Here are a few recent pics of Jevesh (I will post more on the 9th...his 6 MONTH Birthday!).