Thursday, September 16, 2010

21 Months and counting!!!! Getting bigger, stronger, and pretty darn ornery!

I know I did not get this post out on time...but I had a lot of photos to upload from the labor day weekend. Here are some photos to celebrate 21 months for the big boy and his beautiful mom...You know who his parents are...it is in his eyes...it is in his smile...and it will warm your heart...I guarantee...you will not be able to help but smile...






Cheese! (Paneer!)



Mom and her parents at Gold Rush Days




Fun with trains at the RR museum


All tuckered out


Train ride



Watching reenactment at Gold Rush Days (a little too intense)



At the RR Museum







Balloons and bouncy bouncy







Fun with Grandpa





Talking to mom








Ah, the sweet comfort and peace of mom's shoulder






Thinking time





Pony ride potential...but not today




Fixing buttons...waiting patiently




Bouncy house fun...fun for him...a little nerve wracking (sp?) for me...


Pure joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy








Puzzle Fun















All Smiles...

Monday, August 30, 2010

August 30, 2010...Happy Birthday Amit...

Amit would have been 35 years old today...old by his estimates...he would have been finalizing his retirement plans to enjoy his golden years...(he was ambitious...what can we say)...



Happy Birthday Amit...I know you are out there watching over Deepika and Jevesh...an angel looking over his angels...Miss you so very much...



Here is a video for my angels...





Sunday, August 22, 2010

August 18, 2010...two years...a little justice...a little peace


I know that I should have posted this sooner...but this past week has been one of the hardest weeks I have had since we lost Amit two years ago. The recent probation violations and my need to take a stand brought me to a point where I had to revisit so very much of what I had been trying to move past.

Now, my hope is that we can all begin to heal again...continue the process to come to terms with the memories we must carry with us.

On Wednesday, August 18, Troy Lee Hovey was sentenced to 6 years and 8 months in prison. Troy must serve 80% of this sentence and must serve an additional three years of probation upon his release.

The following is the link to the Chico E-R article on the sentencing and the comment forum for the article.


The judge almost gave Troy Hovey the harsher full sentence. It was only that he has no extensive prior criminal record that she chose to give him the "mid term."

The judge also shared that she had received numerous letters (for both sides) that generated a folder almost 4-5 inches thick. She read all of them at least once and some, more. She noted that in discussions prior to the sentencing that she and Mr. Hovey had had a discussion regarding the difference between a mistake and deceit and that Mr. Hovey had admitted that what he had done qualified as deceit.

Troy Hovey made his choices...he has admitted to his crimes...and now he must suffer the consequences of those choices. He has punished everyone...Deepika, Amit's family, Amit's friends, me, and his own family and friends by virtue of the choices he has made. In the end...we have a little justice, maybe a little more peace...we have the opportunity to heal...but Amit is still gone from our lives and nothing changes that reality. I cannot say that I am happy...I can just say that I will heal...as will so many others.

For those that are interested, I will be printing excerpts of my statements on my other blog, Taking Action/Making a diffference...please feel free to visit the blog if you would like.

I will continue to post on both blogs...I will continue to try and make a difference, not only for Deepika, Amit, and Jevesh, but for so many others that must suffer the pain and heartache of such preventable and terrible tragedies.

Please...never drink and drive and never let anyone else drink and drive...Take a stand and do something...please...

Monday, August 9, 2010

20 Months! Happy 20 month Birthday Jevesh!

Some pics and videos to celebrate Jevesh's 20 month birthday!
All dressed up...How beautiful are these two angels!


Waiting...




Mmm...water ...tasty, tasty...aah

Wakey, Wakey, sleepyhead...
Cheeeese! (Paneeeer!)
Just finished watching the fish in the pond...
Smile!
May fortune always find you, may good health always be with you, may bountiful blessings overflow in your lives, and may angels always watch over you and keep you near.







Dancy, Dancy!!!

(Sorry I took the video from a different angle and I can't flip it right side up...but still...pretty cute, eh?)


I see you...

Saturday, August 7, 2010

August 6, 2008...August 6, 2010...

I have pondered now, for quite some time, on what I wanted to say today. I had wanted to be happy, not dwelling on the sad, the unhappy, though I cannot help but admit that with the events of the last month, I cannot help but be more heartbroken than I had expected to be, and shedding a few more tears for which I know Amit would most assuredly chastise me (I cannot help it...I am a cryer...happy, sad, angry...I have very well functioning tear ducts).

That being said, I will focus on that which makes me smile.

Allow me to share just a few of my memories and please feel free to share your own in the comments field.

He had a smile that lit up a room. You would see his face open up into that grin and he would say, hi sweety or hi honey...he also had a funny way of saying hola amigo...only I don't think he intended it to sound as funny as it sometimes did...(he wanted to learn Spanish).

I remember how he would leave the booth to come out and say hello to customers and friends...especially to the kids...he would also always make time at the beginning of the market to walk around and see everyone.

He loved food...loved it...and he had an amazing appetite. I once witnessed him order two meals....He ordered the first, finished it...and ordered a second as we stared in amazement...apparently he had not had a chance to eat much that day in the kitchen...

He loved his spice...there were meals we made in the kitchen that I would refuse to try...I might have been working there...but if I can smell the spicy heat coming off of the food...I am not letting it touch my lips...I am a wimp on the scoville scale compared to Amit...I once saw him eat something so spicy he was sweating, his nose was running, I think he may have even been crying a little, and even the lassi barely put that fire out...it looked like a painful experience and the one little taste I made the mistake of trying left my mouth burning for a half hour ...but he loved it...

I was in Tucson during most of 2008 so I never had a chance to talk to Amit about married life or becoming a father...but even so...I know that he was one of the happiest men a person would likely come across...he had married a woman who was not just his wife, but his friend, partner, and love...and fatherhood was something he had long been waiting for...I can only imagine the excitement and joy he must have experienced as he felt that first kick. His life was filled with joy and he knew he was a lucky and blessed man. I like to think of Amit as the attentive guardian angel, looking out for Deepika and Jevesh, always by their side.




I will post pictures of Jevesh as soon as I can...a tribute and celebration of a little piece of Amit that continues to bless our lives.

Amit was many things...son, uncle, brother, cousin, buddy, boss, husband, friend, and father. He was loved in all of those roles. Think of him this weekend. Think of all the things that bring a smile to your face. Cherish the wonderful memories that you hold in your heart.

So let me leave you with these last thoughts...Cherish the ones you love, the ones you care about...even the ones you just like, for you do not know what tomorrow may bring, and regrets are the heartaches that weigh heavy on your soul.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Information about upcoming hearing (Aug 18) and letters (Aug 6)

Sorry for not posting sooner, but I needed some time to process everything (actual and mental)...

Here are the main deadlines to keep in mind (for those that want/need to know):

***Deadline for sending Impact Statements to the Probation Department:
AUGUST 6th (This is a Friday...the office needs to RECEIVE the letters by this day)
(The two year anniversary of what has brought us to this point in the first place)

PLEASE see my last blog entry...it has outlines/suggestions provided
by the court.
By following these guidelines, being logical, factual, impactful, as well as strong and
heartfelt, you have the best opportunity at demonstrating the hard truth about
the effect of drunk driving on the immediate victims as well as the cascade of heartache
that effects family, friends, community members, and even strangers...as well as
issues on remorse, deceit, recovery, and violating probation, squandering an
opportunity given (regardless of whether we agree with that decision).

***Sentencing Hearing: The hearing is scheduled for 9:30 am ON AUGUST 18th
Location: Butte County Courthouse (Oroville)
Date: August 18th (A Wednesday)
Time (of hearing): 9:30am
Be there BY: 9:15 at the latest (You have to go through metal detectors and be waiting
outside the courtroom for the time when they let everyone in to be seated)
NOTICE: If you plan on attending/speaking, PLEASE let me know...the DA would like
to know how many people to expect (email me at: vidaenigma@hotmail.com)

Please, as always, feel free to pass on this information and/or blog address to people who may be interested or people who want to have an opportunity to say something on the matter to the court.

*** I have been given additional information that may be relevant for some...There is an address where citizens can file legitimate complaints regarding the conduct of judges.

http://cjp.ca.gov/index.php?id=16

This is the website for the California Commission on Judicial Performance. Everything you need to know about how to file a complaint and what to include in your statement can be found on this site. THIS website is the venue to air complaints regarding the conduct of Judge Glusman who has been reelected to a six year position as no person ran against him...

This information is in my previous blog, but it is so far down on the page I thought I would repeat it in this blog:

The address for the Butte County Probation Department is:

Butte County Probation Department

42 County Center Dr.

Oroville, CA 95965


For now, it is suggested that the letters be directed to this address so they will be included in the probation report. The report is given to the judge and DA in advance of the hearing. The Probation department needs to receive these letters by August 6th.



* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I thought about what else I wanted to say today, as I write this blog...I have thought about things all weekend in fact...I believe those that have read my blog know how I feel and know how much my life has been impacted by the tragedy two years ago. My pain and heartache is only a fraction of what Deepika and Amit's family have experienced/are experiencing.

In some ways, I so wish my life was not what it is ...two years ago my life changed forever, I lost a piece of my heart that night...forever to be a scar that would not be forgotten...I will never forget...But I will also say this...The void that was left...a void filled with great pain and sorrow...overwhelming at times...over time also filled with joy, love, and friendship. I still feel the ache...I think it will always be there...but I also am overwhelmed with the blessing of having the friendship of Deepika, the joy of Jevesh, and the support, prayers, and positive thoughts of so many people from all over for Deepika and Jevesh...I cannot change what happened. Nothing I do will ever make things right...but I know this...in the end...I can say I tried...that I did what I could to try and make a differance...and that I will continue to do so for Deepika and anyone else I might be able to help...we have to stand up...even when it is hard...maybe, especially when it is hard.

I will stand in court and speak...I may be a mess, but I will be there.

Troy Hovey made choices...not mistakes...and those choices resulted not only in the death of a wonderful man, but a trail of heatache, sorrow, and anger. Drunk driving is NEVER an accident...the drinker knows before that first sip passes their lips that they have a choice, a choice not to drink, a choice to consume that drink at home with no plans of leaving, a choice to make sure they have a safe ride home...There is absolutely no excuse for driving after drinking...None!

Troy Hovey chose to put lives at risk and ultimately succeeded in the worst possible sense. Judge Glusman gave Hovey an opportunity (despite the fact that I think most people would agree it was a poor decision) to show remorse and to "embrace recovery." Glusman fully expected that he would not see Hovey again...technically, he was right...the judge that would end up seeing Hovey was/is Judge McClean. Hovey has not shown remorse and he has demonstrated, by his deception, that he is not addressing his alcohol addiction/embracing recovery. I do believe that if a man shows this kind of character (or lack thereof for that matter) that one must wonder...if he is willing to deceive the court in one way or two...what else may he be lying about...and worse...whose life/lives is he now putting at risk.

I miss Amit so very much. He should be with his wife and beautiful child, holding them close...instead I can only think of him looking down on them as a guardian angel.

Thank you all for your thoughts, kind words, letters, prayers, etc. It means a great deal and I hope you all know how much that is appreciated. Please feel free to contact me via email if you have further questions or concerns.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Information Regarding Hearing for Hovey and Victim Impact Statements...

Update! (07/22/10)...Hovey has plead guilty to the charges...Sentencing Hearing is set for August 18. I will share more information soon.

Here is the link to the Chico E-R article:

http://www.chicoer.com/news/ci_15574853

--------------------------------------------------------------

I apologize for the lengthy blog entry, however I have a great deal of information I want to share. Please feel free to pass this information along to other interested parties.


It is my understanding, based on the information I have, that the hearing on Wednesday will be at 9:30AM and will determine whether or not there has been a violation of probation, so the court may or may not allow speakers depending upon the outcome. If Hovey admits the charges or is found in violation by the court after the hearing, he will likely be scheduled for a separate sentencing date and the case could be referred back to the Probation Department to write a supplemental report. If that is the case, all of the impact statements would need to be turned in to the Probation Department at least two to three weeks prior to the sentencing hearing and will be included with the report. At the sentencing hearing, the court would hear from speakers and review any letters that are submitted to the Probation Department. A hearing at 1:30 may occur if Hovey pleads innocent to the charges, however, that is less clear (I will let you know what I find out for those that may want to attend).

The following are just guidelines but they can help organize thoughts. You may attach any internet printouts you would like the judge, DA, and Probation Officer to see (you may want to describe them in the body of your statement so they know what they are looking at).


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


IMPACT STATEMENT

(WRITTEN STATEMENT)


This impact statement is the only time you may have contact with the judge.


It is a time to speak in open court about the consequences the defendant imposed on you or your loved one. It is also the only time you will be able to address the defendant. If you feel you cannot, or do not wish to speak in court, you may write a letter to the judge. This letter can take the place of an oral statement. If you wish to make an oral and a written statement, you may do so.


If you choose to make a written statement, the following outline can be used to organize it.


THE HONORABLE___________________________________________________

NAME OF COURT ___________________________________________________

CITY, STATE, ZIP CODE _____________________________________________

RE: PEOPLE vs. ______________________________________________________

CASE NUMBER: _______________________________________________


1ST PARAGRAPH: State your name and your relationship to the victim.


2nd PARAGRAPH: Provide the date and short summary of the incident. Include the defendant and victim’s name.


3rd PARAGRAPH: Describe the impact this crime has had on you, your family, friends, and community. State if this crime has caused economic hardship, such as large or ongoing medical bills, funeral expenses, loss of income, etc.


4th PARAGRAPH: Explain how you feel about a future without your loved one, or about the injuries or losses that you or a loved one must endure, and how this will impact your life.


5th PARAGRAPH: Tell the judge what you feel is justified in the way of a penalty for this crime. If you want restitution, this is the time to request it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


IMPACT STATEMENT

(ORAL STATEMENT)


This impact statement is the only time you may have contact with the judge. It is a time to speak in open court about the effects the defendant’s crime has had on you or your loved one. It is also the only time you will be able to address the defendant.


The following provides questions for you to answer as a way to organize your impact statement. You may choose to answer all or some of these questions, they are simply a guideline to help you organize your thoughts. REMEMBER, your statement should be one to two pages long.


YOUR NAME:

VICTIM’S NAME:

DEFENDANT’S NAME:

COURT CASE NUMBER:

SENTENCING DATE:


  1. Briefly describe the crime in which you or your family member was a victim. (The judge is aware of the facts of the case.)

  1. Effects of the crime on the victim/victim’s family:

(Circle all that apply)


    1. Personal/Physical Injury
    2. Property Loss
    3. Psychological Loss
    4. Financial Loss
    5. Other – explain.

  1. I have suffered:

(Circle all that apply)


    1. Fear
    2. Anxiety/Emotional Distress
    3. Inconvenience
    4. Humiliation
    5. Frustration
    6. Other – explain.

  1. Explain how the crime affected your life.

  1. Do you have a problem now trusting people as a result of the crime against you or your loved ones? Is your sense of safety altered?

  1. Have you had trouble sleeping or have you suffered from nightmares as a result of the crime?

  1. Has this crime affected your relationship with any family members, friends, co-workers or other people? Explain.

  1. Did the crime against you affect anyone else in your family? How?

  1. Were you physically injured as a result of this crime? (How long did the injuries last? How long are the expected to last? Did you seek medical treatment for these injuries? If yes, describe treatment received and length of time treatment was required. What changes have you made in your life as a result of these injuries?) Amount of expense incurred to date is $_________.

  1. As a result of this crime, have you or others close to you sought any type of victim services, such as counseling by either a licensed professional, member of the clergy, or community-sponsored support group? If no, do you intend to seek counseling as a result of the incident? If yes, please describe type and length of treatment. Amount of expense incurred to date for counseling or therapy $__________.

  1. Has this crime affected your ability to perform your work, make a living, run a household, go to school or enjoy any other activities you previously performed or enjoyed? If yes, describe loss.

  1. Have you incurred personal, financial, or other losses as a result of this crime? If yes, describe the loss/losses.

  1. Did the time you spent in Court disrupt your life? How?

  1. Have you or your family members been threatened by the Defendant (or minor) during or after the course of the crime?

  1. Do you fear for your personal safety or that of your family or others if the Defendant (or Minor) is released back into the community? Why?

  1. Do you have any thoughts, suggestions, or recommendations on the sentence that the court should impose? (Prison, Jail, Counseling . . . how long?) If yes, please explain. (Ask the Probation Officer preparing the report to tell you what the penalty for this crime is as stated in the Penal Code.)

  1. Express why you believe your sentencing recommendation is just.

Note: You must provide documentation to prove your losses; i.e. copies of medical bills, receipts, etc.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


COMMENTS FROM JUDGES

ON IMPACT STATEMENTS


v It is helpful if individuals write out or outline in advance what they wish to say, and then use it as a reference (avoid simply reading it).


v Keep the focus on the crime and its’ effect on the victim and their loved ones, and what the victim wants to happen to the defendant (within the scope of the law!).


v Victims are discouraged from making general negative comments about the defendant and from emotional outbursts.


v Some judges will “tune out the victim” if their statement becomes lengthy. Keep your statement under five (5) minutes in most cases.


v Most judges are persuaded by additional information about the impact of the crime upon the victim, level of danger/fear and defendant’s background (if victim knows defendant.)


v You may make your impact statement before or after the defense counsel and prosecutor speaks. If you have a preference, it is important to let the prosecutor know. The prosecutor will then make this known to the court.


v Some judges will place a sentencing at the end of the calendar to accommodate a wish for less public exposure.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The address for the Butte County Probation Department is:


Butte County Probation Department

42 County Center Dr.

Oroville, CA 95965


For now, it is suggested that the letters be directed to this address so they will be included in the probation report. The report is given to the judge and DA in advance of the hearing. If that suggestion changes I will let you know. Here are links to both the court and the county that:


Court Address: http://www.buttecourt.ca.gov/courthouses/BCCHcourthouse.htm


DA and Probation Addresses: http://www.buttecounty.net/Department%20Contacts.aspx

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Troy Hovey may have violated his Probation...

I first want to apologize...I normally do not post these particular blog entries here...but I felt it was imperative that I get the word out...

(Revised 07/08/2010)

-------

(This is a listing of the items filed in court on Hovey regarding this case)

(Chico E-R news article regarding the probation violation)

(This is a forum discussion that someone started....)

www.paradisepost.com/opinion/ci_15378819
(This is an opinion letter to the paradise post...)

I would really love to overflow that courtroom with people....overwhelm their mailroom and email inboxes with letters asking for justice....Please...I am begging you....help us achieve justice this time if we are given that opportunity...

I would like to share some thoughts with you and I apologize if I offend anyone for that is never my intention, but I do realize that my strong feelings may not be shared by everyone who reads this blog...

Something to ponder...

I would like to point out that Hovey may not be a murderer...but he is, without question...a killer...he took a human life...plain and simple...He may not have specifically chosen Amit Tandon as his victim...but Troy Hovey was and is no child...


Hovey drank to excess...knowing he had issues with alcohol...He Chose...to drink (elevating his BAC to Three Times the Legal Limit)...He Chose...to not call his wife or a taxi or Someone to get a safe ride home...He Chose... to get behind the wheel of a multi-ton vehicle turned death machine...He Chose... to drive at excessive speeds (between 60-90 mph by law enforcement estimates)...He Chose ...to talk on a cell phone while driving (at excessive speeds, intoxicated)...


All of these Choices Ultimately lead to Hovey driving Through a barrier and driving the wrong way on 99...Hovey drove through that barricade...The vehicle in front of Amit saw what was coming and was able to avoid Hovey...Unfortunately...Amit did not have that chance...


Hovey collided with the little Nissan truck that Amit was driving home...Home to his wife of only 7 months...a wife that was pregnant with his child whom he had found out only two days prior was to be a boy...a Child I would point out, Amit never had the chance to see, to hold, to love...


And despite all of that...Judge Glusman handed down a sentence that, to all but the most blind, was sickening and a mockery of the justice system. There have been people who have stolen walnuts from the orchards that received a harsher punishment than Hovey ...a man who took, nay stole, a human life...


What happened on August 6th of 2008 was a collision resulting from One person's Series of Selfish, Bad choices...That crash was not an accident (an accident implies no one is at fault)...It is no different than waving a gun around and having it go off...one knows that a gun can be dangerous and that waving it around is extremely dangerous...and if you choose to wave that gun around...you know there is a risk that someone will get hurt or die...Hovey made choices...and those choices resulted in the death of a 32 year old husband, son, brother, friend, and father...


Amit Tandon...Never had a Choice...


Thousands die each year...senselessly...at the hands of drunk drivers...more deaths, in fact, than all the soldiers that have died in Iraq or Afghanistan. The difference? Soldiers choose to be soldiers...These victims...Never had a Choice...


Right or Wrong, Troy Hovey was given an opportunity by Glusman to channel his remorse to "embrace recovery"...and yet....In the two years since Amit has died...has Hovey shown or demonstrated remorse? Has he "Embraced" recovery? Has Hovey done anything of his own volition (that is, has he done anything on his own, of his own free will) to show his remorse or to address his alcohol addiction? or has he only done what the court has required him to do?...I don't know, but I don't feel like he has...Example?...At the end of May/beginning of June, Troy Hovey, via facebook, inquired, on a motorsport vehicle business page, as to the availability and cost of a recreational vehicle. I ask you...Would a man filled with remorse over the taking of a life be 1) playing on facebook and 2) inquiring as to the availability of a luxury item purchase with a price tag approaching $9000? Meanwhile, the widow of his victim, Deepika Tandon, works every single day to make ends meet and provide for her child...I am sorry, but that does not sound like an act of a remorseful person.

What I also know is that Hovey is facing charges of having violated his probation, of falsifying AA logs...Would a remorseful person violate probation? Would a remorseful person falsify AA logs? Would someone who has "embraced" recovery falsify AA logs? And if he is guilty of falsifying the AA logs, then a potentially even more serious question may be, what else could he be guilty of?

I do not desire vengeance...vengeance is an act of violence, of hate, ...an act of inflicting harm or the like on another as a means of revenge, I do not choose to foster hate...there is nothing in this world that will bring Amit back to Deepika and those that cared for him...no matter how hard we might wish and hate accomplishes nothing...What I would like...and what I would ask each and every person to consider, is the need for justice... A man has violated the law and he must be held accountable for his actions. If he is not remorseful of his prior or "alleged" recent crimes and he has not embraced recovery, he has the potential to repeat his past sins...and in so doing, puts each and every one of us and our loved ones at risk. Perhaps Troy Hovey Needs to go to prison... not only to be held accountable for his actions and misdeeds, but to gain perspective on what he has done and to be given the opportunity in a more secure and supervised setting, to attempt recovery. There are no guarantees as to whether or not Hovey will ever have remorse or will ever seriously address his addictions, however, I do believe that keeping him off the streets for as long as possible could save lives.

We must ALL take a stand...We must ALL let our voices be heard....Write letters, emails, make phone calls, share the stories, vote, do whatever you can to take a stand...to make a difference. As I have said many a time...In August of 2008, Amit was the one who fell victim, leaving behind his wife, sick child, family, and friends....all of us, losing a little piece of our hearts...tonight, tomorrow, next month, next year, the victim could be someone you care about...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

June 09, 2010...Happy 18 Month Birthday Jevesh!

Happy 18 Month Birthday Jevesh!!!! You have come a long way baby!

Look at you know...saying words, signing words, eating some "regular" food, enjoying blueberries, and now WALKING!!!! Yahoo! (watch out mama ;)


A Year and a half! You and your mother have been through quite a lot in that time...but the beauty of your hearts and souls, the inner strength, the courageousness, are testements to the Truly Wonderful Angels that you are and amazing examples to us all. I miss you both everyday and count my blessings that you are in my life.

I wish for you both Strong Health, Good Fortune, and Infinite Blessings.











Happy Birthday Dear one...I love you and your mom very much...

Friday, April 9, 2010

Sweet 16...months...April 9, 2010...

I have not forgotten the blog...and I have not abandoned my duties....Life sometimes gets in the way of things but while I have been absent, Jevesh has been growing, smiling, giggling, and almost walking on his own :)




Jevesh and mom are doing well, staying healthy, getting healthier. Jevesh is full of smiles and giggles, crawling around like mad, pulling himself into a standing position, walking with his walker/stroller, and chatting chatting chatting...He can sign for "more," "please," and "thank you" and saying words like "mommy," "hey," "oh boy" and "more."



Here are some pictures of Jevesh from over the last month...I will also post video soon :)

Sorry for my absence. As always, please continue to keep Deepika and Jevesh in your thoughts and prayers.